MOVIE REVIEW | ***JURASSIC WEEK*** Jurassic World (2015)

“Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We’re just used to being the cat.”

Having never seen any of the previous movies in this series until this week, I was pretty ambivalent about the idea of another Jurassic Park movie.  But after binging on the previous three movies and really enjoying all of them, I was all of a sudden not excited about Jurassic World, but worried.  I was ready to suspend plenty of disbelief.  After all, this is a monster movie about dinosaurs being brought back to life, who end up rampaging through a theme park full of holidaying families.  But the trailers that showed Chris Pratt’s character hanging out with tame velociraptors seemed like it was pushing things a little too far. However, the largest opening weekend in movie history is a hard thing to ignore, so I had put my concerns aside, and see Jurassic World.

20 years after the events of the first movie, John Hammond’s dream has finally come true, and a dinosaur filled theme park is now a reality.  The only problem is, it’s been a reality for a decade and people have become bored with the regular old dinosaurs on display.  So, scientists at the park have created a new one.  Splicing genes from different breeds, they’ve bred the Indominus Rex.  Bigger, faster, smarter and teethier than anything that ever actually existed.  Once again, as in every entry in this movie franchise, science and big business have run amuck and the good natured naturalists will have to clean up the mess.

MOVIE REVIEW | ***JURASSIC WEEK*** Jurassic Park III (2001)

“I read both of your books. I liked the first one more. Before you were on the island. You liked dinosaurs back then.”

In this day and age of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, movie franchises are planned out years and half a dozen sequels in advance.  But a mere decade or so ago, a decent sequel was a novelty, and a third movie was more than likely one last cash grab before all goodwill was pissed away.  In my memory, Jurassic Park was the blockbuster hit that deserved every cent of its box office success and every newspaper inch of its critical praise.  While The Lost World: Jurassic Park was its less appreciated, cash in sequel.

Also in my memory, as someone who had seen neither of its predecessors, Jurassic Park III was the expected shitty, last breath cash grab that ended being revered as nothing but a shitty, last breath cash grab.  But I never saw Jurassic Park III in the context of it being the second sequel, eight years after the beloved original.  I saw it less than 24 hours after shot gunning the first two.  I wonder if that affected my opinion of Jurassic Park III?  I wonder?

MOVIE REVIEW | ***JURASSIC WEEK*** The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

“Saddle up, let’s get this moveable feast under way!”

These days, when a franchisable movie is mega successful, it’s not a question of if it will get a sequel, but a question of how many sequels will be shit out before the studio reboots the series and starts again from the beginning.  But in the 90s, sequels were still a little more of a novelty.  And they never had the prestige of their series’ predecessors.  So when it was announced that Jurassic Park would not only be getting a sequel, but that Steven Spielberg would also be back behind the camera, it was a pretty big deal.  Not enough of a big deal for me to be assed seeing it apparently, but I’m here now, aren’t I?  So get off my back, because I just watched The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

After the debacle of his dinosaur filled amusement park, John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) has lost control of his company that cloned said dinosaurs, and is now scared of how his nephew (Arliss Howard as Peter Ludlow) will wield his power as the company’s new head.  Especially in regards to Site B.  You see, the island of the original movie was just for the tourists.  There was an entire second island where the dinosaurs were bred.  After a severe hurricane, Site B was abandoned.  But it turns out, left to their own devices, the dinosaurs have spread, bred and built an entire prehistoric eco system.

MOVIE REVIEW | ***JURASSIC WEEK*** Jurassic Park (1993)

“Can’t just suppress 65 million years of gut instinct.”

For the last few months, it has seemed like people have been trying to convince themselves they were excited about Jurassic World.  Or at least, I felt like they were trying to convince themselves.  Then, a few weeks ago, it opened and broke the box record for highest grossing opening weekend ever.  So I guess people had been genuinely excited about Jurassic World and I just projected my own ambivalence about the movie on to them.  Then I realised that the reason I was so ambivalent while the rest of the world was getting excited, was because I’ve never seen a single movie in the Jurassic franchise.   I guess I had nothing to get excited about.  So, it’s time to join the rest of the world in getting excited about Jurassic World.  But before I can see it, I have to catch up, starting with the original, Jurassic Park.

Dr Alan Grant (Sam Neil) and Dr Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) are working on an archaeological dig for dinosaur bones when they’re summoned by eccentric billionaire, John Hammond (Richard Attenborough), whisking them away to a secluded island somewhere in Central America.  Joining them is mathematician, Dr Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum).  Landing on Hammond’s island, the three doctors soon have their minds blown when they see that Hammond and his scientists have brought dinosaurs back to life.