In a nutshell, Bored & Dangerous says: “There’s nothing interesting about his movie. Not even in a WTF, train wreck kind of way.”
“Some thoughts have a certain sound, that being the equivalent to a form. Through sound and motion, you will be able to paralyze nerves, shatter bones, set fires, suffocate an enemy or burst his organs.”
Some movies are so notoriously bad, or flopped so bad on release, they don’t simply endure despite that notoriety, they thrive because of it. Edward D Wood Jr was too bad to be forgotten as a film maker, his legacy as the worst film maker of all time means his movies are just as infamous now, half a century later, as when they were first released. I don’t often seek these shit bombs out. I’d much rather spend my time genuinely enjoying a movie than ironically enjoying it. But I recently joined my local library, where, it turns out, you can borrow movies for free. And the first one I saw on the shelf was Dune. A notorious 80s shit bomb that I can’t ever imagine seeking out. But it was there, it was free, and I couldn’t be assed looking for anything better.
Thanks to an opening monologue delivered by some mole straight to camera, we learn all about this futuristic space world. Where alien races are all hopped up on some drug called the Spice. It can make people live forever, and even bend space, for instant, intergalactic travel. Cut to a voice over who explains the various planets, the races who inhabit them and their relationship with each other. Cut to a castle, with more voiceover (possibly from the initial camera addressing mole) telling us about the origins of main character and hero, Paul Atreides (Kyle MacLachlan). This movie is 10 minutes and three scenes in, and it’s been nothing but clunky, convoluted exposition. (more…)